If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook or even here on ye olde blog, you've probably noticed that I've been really absent on the social media front lately. I hate to use this as an excuse because really, it's all work-related, but I have just been swamped with work. All the new patterns go to print tomorrow so we are knee deep in editing and proofing this week. The book comes out in just 8 short weeks so we are finishing up the promotions and marketing plan which includes blog tours, parties and a very special schoolhouse session at the Spring Quilt Market. Throw on top of that my busiest fabric season EVER -- two lines and three different substrates! More on all of that soon.
But, as the last of the patterns are being proofed by Emalee I found myself with a few minutes to spare this morning, so I thought I'd update the blog, but with what? My brain is mush right now because of being torn in a million different directions, lack of sleep and what not, so I can't do a serious work-related post at the moment.
Been thinking a lot about parenthood and about how it changes you... one might even venture to say it makes you somewhat of a hypocrite at times. The things I used to roll my eyes at and even mock out loud when I was young and single, are the things I find myself doing (and proudly) now.
Case in point, before kids came around, I used to think New Years Eve was not New Years Eve without a rocking party and a killer hangover the next day. Now, I find nothing wrong with staying home with the family, letting the kids stay up till midnight for once (even if one of them doesn't quite make it) and hugging and kissing at the stroke of midnight. The 20-year-old me would've thought the 40-year-old me was uncool, sad and utterly boring.
But more recently, the topic of music came up. I admit that I'm definitely not a prude when it comes to music or TV. As a kid and young teen it was all about Madonna and George Michael and we all know what some of their lyrics were like! Then later on, it was darker genres of music... I was all about alternative and industrial bands. The lyrics of some of these songs are utterly disturbing... but I loved them! And somehow I turned out alright (or so I hope).
Now, when it comes to my kids, it's a totally different story. They were listening to Pandora last night, the Selena Gomez station. I was working on my laptop just a few feet away, thinking it was all cool and fun. Then a Rihanna song came on. It was Rude Boy. Now, I'm not a Pandora expert, but I glanced over and saw that they had the lyrics up on the screen... and Sydney was looking at them! Eeeeek! I jumped out of my chair and skipped the song so fast she didn't know what happened... it was like supersonic speed!
So, I started thinking today and a facebook conversation between family and friends was sparked about this. Ya know, I never intended to be a "freaky mom". I know all too well that kids will be exposed to things worse than this in life (through school, friends, TV, etc.) and I can't shelter them forever. I also know that it's better if they are educated about things and if they feel free -- and comfortable -- to ask us questions if they are ever confused about something. That's why, as they grow older, I hope they see Jon and I as "friends" besides just "mom and dad".
But a little part of me just can't help but be overprotective and want my girls to stay little and innocent for as long as possible. I mean, I just cringe at the thought of my 7 year old singing (even if it's in her head) "Come on rude boy, boy, can you get it up?" or "Sex in the air... I love the smell of it!" Eeeek! Just typing that made me get chills all over. And again... the 20-year-old me would've thought I was ridiculous. But then again, the 20-year-old me would've hated Rihanna for a whole other reason... too mainstream! ;)
All of this talk about kids growing up too fast got me thinking about the little things... the little accomplishments that are bitter-sweet. Like, for example, the first time they are able to take a shower alone. Sydney (7) just started showering unassisted about 6 months ago. Of course, one of us always sits right outside the bathroom door... just in case. I usually just bring my laptop and check email or something. But as much as this alleviates our workload as parents, it's a little sad when they don't need you for everything. Also, I know this is going to seem so trivial and dumb to anyone out there who doesn't have kids but, the first time they understand that they have to hold on to the cuff of their long-sleeved shirts or sweaters before they put their jackets on because otherwise the sleeve will ride all the way up... that day is HUGE! And I mean tear-jerking huge... as in, WOW, she's all grown up! sniff, sniff. Then I remember all the times I whined about why they don't understand that and I have to go and fix the situation. Am I alone?
Mark my words... this little one up there ^^^ is gonna be trouble one day (regardless of what music she listens to!)
Anyway, well... looks like Emalee is done proofing, so I need to go and make some edits now. It's been fun, but that's it for now, folks. Deep thoughts, by Patty Young. ;)
I totally hear you! Our daughter is 11 and wants everything her 13 year old brother has (facebook, phone, everything). Not only are we not ready for that, she isn't either. You're not a hypocrite, you're a parent. That's what happens, I guess, because the same darn thing is happening at my house! Sniff.
ReplyDeleteOh Patty, you make me smile! Believe me, you and Jon ARE cool parents. You guys surround your kiddos with love and creativity. What could be better? And I know how you feel, wanting them to be innocent just a little longer. You're not a hypocrite, you're a MOM. They grow so fast! Enjoy every moment.
ReplyDeleteahahaha! I'm so there with you. :) I about jumped out of my skin when I realized my kids (8&7) were singing along to Aerosmith's Rag Doll on Pandora! (A little cleaning music makes the job more fun.)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see all the new stuff!
WOW< you sure have a gift with words, Paty. I couldn't have said it better myself. It actually made me a little teary eyed thinking about the kids growing up so fast. sniff Great post!
ReplyDeleteAnnie
Once you become a parent you get free reign to become a hypocrite. Seriously. The parenting handbook says so ;0)
ReplyDeleteI have the funniest story about my 10 yr old and I watching Myth Busters. Believe it or not, there was mention of sperm on the show. After he asked me, I told him what it was. Then after a pause he asked how the sperm and the egg get together. When I didn't answer right away, he figured it was something he did NOT want to know and said, "Wait! Nevermind! I don't want to know!!" Never a dull moment parenting, eh?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on keeping your kids innocent for as long as possible! They will hear that stuff eventually, but at Sydney's age you still have control over those things & so don't feel bad about skipping the song. My kids are 16 & 14 and I edited their music and movie choices for age appropriateness as long as I could and don't regret it!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the comments. Glad I'm not alone!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Betz, that's hilarious! I dread having to answer those questions...
It's not being OVERLY protective to be selective about the things that our children are exposed to. Protective is good. My 30 year-old son recently told me that he thought I was being picky about a lot of things during his youth, but now he thinks I was RIGHT! Your girls may not appreciate fully what you are doing now, but they WILL understand in twenty years or so.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from, but I think everyone must go through it too. Music is a hard one for me. I love to listen to "dance" music. It lifts me up when I am down, helps me keep motivated when at the gym or working around the house and just plain puts a smile on my face. My kids are always dancing around the house with me and have just started to really listen to the words and try to sing along with me. Most dance/pop music is fun to dance and sing to, but the words are crap (just like that word). My 4 year old came home from Pre-K telling me that she loved Justin B, singing one of his songs and telling me all about his movie. She has no idea who he is, his song or that he has a movie, but a little girl with an older sister in her class does. I told my husband that I was kind of worried she would start singing "Baby, Baby, Baby, ohhhhh” in the middle of library time or somewhere in public. NOT appropriate for a 4 year old…
ReplyDeleteYou letting the watch SNL now too? lol. Can't wai tto ser the new lines! xo
ReplyDeleteWe always laugh about a bumper sticker we saw that said ,"I was a much better parent before I had kids!" meaning you think you have all the answers and then you become a parent and it all changes. I read a book when my oldest was a babay by Deepak Chopra. In it he states that it is oour job as parents to gaurd their innocence as long as we can because once it's gone it's gone. That's it- you don't ever get to go back to that place. I took that to heart and though I am up front with my kids about things- I will tell them whatever they want to know because I would rather they hear it from me- I want them to feel ok being kids as long as they need to. They are getting so old and there are too many influences out there that want to take those precious years away from them. And I agree- New Year's at our house is a family affair. These are fleeting years and I am taking full advantage of our time together. And Rhianna scares me! And it makes me sad that she feels the need to put herself out there in that way.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your heartfelt comments! I'm truly enjoying reading through all your stories.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm lucky that my kids give me no opposition when I tell them they can't do something.They didn't even question the Rihanna decision... I just said it was inappropriate and that was good enough for them. They are better than I was as a child... I would've pitched a fit about it! haha
Maribel, I am so glad my girls hate Justin Bieber.I don't even know how they got to dislike him so, but I approve of that! ;)
Simone, no SNL till they're old enough to understand! As a matter of fact, I haven't even been watching it for a couple of years... it's just not as funny as it used to be. :(
Mo, that bumper sticker is so true!! I know I used to think I would do things differently, but once you're in the thick of it you realize it's not as easy as you though it'd be. ;)